There are really no adequate words to sum up the sheer suck that is this race: blood curdling, stomach inside out puking, legs exploding, awfulness sounds like powdered sugar donuts in comparison to how horrific this was. I dare say delivering my 10 pound child might have been easier...but that was a long time ago, so I might take that back.
Check out the leverage the maybe-buck-o-five-soaking-wet-Kee has to get, just to turn a single freaking rotation:
So what exactly does it say about me, that on the way home, I was planning what I would do differently NEXT year to prepare myself: the first item on that list being proper hydration, second being eating exactly NONE of those goo packs that made me puke my brains out, AND lastly, not getting so up inside of my head that I nearly mind-fu*#&d myself off my bike forever?
I don't even want to know.
You see these pics here, and quite frankly, they still won't do this little number justice, because what they DON'T tell you, is that there is a climb BEFORE this here Snakey little cobblestoned climb...which pretty much has you winded BEFORE you even begin to climb said Snake.
Here is the last little portion of THAT climb (and yes, those dudes are wholly hunched over their handlebars, puking...at least that's what Ill keep telling myself) before they even reach the Snake:
She kicked some serious ass all weekend and I should probably mention...IT WAS HER FIRST RACE. She's something else though:
Now, juxtapose Keri (and Joann) looking all stealth-like and fit here, with this pic here below...where you can see the crowd behind me mocking me, the bile beginning to eek its way from my guts, and the fact that a big ass, and thundering thighs are not entirely great assets for hauling one's self up ridiculous cobblestoned climbs:
Cripes. Perhaps the only saving grace(s) of this deal were:
1. That our race was early in the day...so most of the spectators (read: hecklers) waited until later in the day to make their appearances.
Next year...someone please let the air out of my tires and spare me the agony.
I'll pay you later.